Stress starts overwhelming me~~

STRESS~~~~~~~~~~
REASONABLE STRESS~~~
UNREASONABLE STRESS~~~~~

New sem?New target?

I been so luckily and selected randomly by the Mr Hazel who teach us writing skill to be the class representative. There are two of us,1 malay and me.. First job is to photocopy the course manual for the rest, the malay girl already leave me alone..Sweat..hope next time she wont.. Being representative for a small class like this not really tired but just lazy..haha
Another lecturer, been stand in front of me keep look at me when he talked. I just pretend listen when he did like this. My awkward reaction lets the whole class laugh out. I know my face turn super red that time. He said i very shy and ask what is my name. When i told him, he said nice name. I wonder.. Then he said same as artist from hong kong.. The sound of laugh fullfill the whole class.. Now everyone called me superstar..haiz..

teeth

Since i was young, i knew that my teeth are not pretty and tidy as others. Many people did laugh about it. I accepted it with tears in my heart..The causes from my parent is i did like to consume candy and refuse to see dentist. I think most of the children passed through this..
When i grew up,many people turn to comment why i din go for teeth colligation when i was 13 or 14. This time the reason from parent is i scare of painful and refuse to go. Well, i really do not understand why people have to undergo teeth colligation. Even now, the dentist also said it is very hard to take care of teeth like mine.. Now i was growing up,i know the benefit and reason why people do that. But it is too late for me..
My heart keep blaming..But who and what should i blaming? My parent?Myself? Because of my parent not highly educated?or i m too stupid coz dunno the benefit to do it?or blame myself why love candy?I really no idea d..
Maybe i can go fight for myself. Never be too late.. I can dont bother anything and go for private clinic all that.. I knew that.. Chances must find by yourself and you had to chase for it.. I agree, but i cant too selfish. I know if i fight and chase for it, my parent have to pay for it.. I just cant stand this..
I dont know this main cause which make me no confident all the time will leave me or not? I just have to try to accept it in a way.. May god help me,i need your strength. I know i m not the worst people in the world,i should be glad.. god,please do let me feel better and settle the most problem of it. I wil already satisfied and be happy..

Rich is not everything, knowlegde does..

Accompanied my grandma and mum went to a wedding dinner. We planned to overnight there as there quite far away from Seremban.
There has an uncle who are very rich but not highly educated. I found he was good and nice as he treat my grandma very nice. He came and talked to me and my mum, he ask am i stil study. My answer is definitely yes. He said that if a child good in study then his/her parent have to work hard to find money. For him just like waste money.. And he added that his son studying in taiwan, and wan grad d but not continue for university. He just ok and said come back do business then ok d, and here got a lots of business to let him choose and do. He lets me end with stupefied. Even u re rich but i think noneed like that and really made me dont like him straight away..
I used a long time for calm down myself. But i stil wish to go home and not overnight. I keep quiet, very quiet at the dinner and think of methods and ways to back seremban. Finally, i success to persuade my mum to go back. My mum told my dad that i m just like a baby who keep noisy for back home earlier. Mummy, i am your baby forever..haha

My holiday

This is the most vacation holidays that i ever had. Start from hanging around in kl for singing,ice skating. After that went to sibu,sarawak experience the 1st flight in my life. This follow by kelantan trip. And then my birthday celebration in sunway and look out point. Finally is my singapore trip, drinking with my sis and cousin are amazing..Love them so much..
Wish i can always be around with them...
Love mummy,daddy,auntie,uncle, sisters,bro, ts, hm, isaac.
Looking forward to chinese new year with you all...

Life is short

A girl was just 22 years old but detected had lymph cancer.. We always expected life should be in our plan, but didnt expect it will run out of plan.
We always think this and that for many times, worry this and that and even scare how others think about us. What in my mind now is just do my best and treasure who i love and what i have..
Hope the best for the girl,everything gonna be alright to her..

Carry on

I knew that you interested in a girl after half year of broke up period. I dunno how to describe my feeling.A little bit disappointed? maybe..haha..I think thats normal.
I know how you treat her better than me.. Maybe you are grow up? Or just because got your friends to guide you this time.
After some time of thought, i know i should be happy for you. You really should carry on your life neither me too.. I should not want you to get through what i experience which waiting for 1 year..Thats quite a silly action..Everything had pass, may rainbow come to our life..
I wish and bless you have a best life,and get the lovely girl. Good luck, my friend...
Bare in mind that must be happy, and get your true love..^^

21st birthday

Is 21st birthday very important? Did i forget simplest is the happiest? I did think of many ways to celebrate my birthday.. But is it a need to celebrate ceremoniously ??
I did passed my birthday. It is just a day anyhow.. I did happy and i want to thanks to those who be with me and celebrate with me. Even i felt like somewhat i force you all went out to chilled with me..haha..
I know i growing to be an adult, i realize my deficiency of being a perfect adult, girl and person.
I will try my best to be tough,to learn, to be independent, to settle or do work as a mature people in my life journey.
Thanks to those who mean alots and special to me especially my family..

LOVE you versus brave and dare

I love you,can you be my girlfriend?
Saying i love you is a breeze..sweet words pop out from mouth so easily..
When inform by the girl that she have AIDS, lead the guy stupefied..
The girl asked back, did you still dare to love me????
We always think love is easy, did we really understand love???
Do you still dare and brave???

Tear of joy

Tear drop from a guy just because can saw his loving girl smile through tears...
Romance, True, Felicity is there..
Girls try our best going for it ya..

2 cases of love

I was remember that last time when i headed to a ballet music orchestra which located in Malaysia Philharmonic Orchestra in KLCC during my form6. That was a couple in our gang, we took ktm and then monorail to there. I was remember clearly that time the monorail was full of people, we stand inside like a tin of sadin. When we were tried our best to edge in the monorail, the boyfriend left outside. The entrance door almost close, a hand appear suddenly to stop the door and pull that guy in. I was wowed, this girl damn geng. What a real beauty save hero scene perform in front of my eyes. Both of them get good result in STPM, but they get in different university. Today when i check my facebook, the girl status become single and post many sad phase, i can predict that maybe their love are broke. Even i not close with both of them or maybe just know who each other are. Feel sad for them, love can be so brittle.Hope she will be alright. Single can be happy and joyful, girl must tough and live better always.
Another one is from my mum, her friend's son broke with his girlfriend which already together for 7 years. Damn!! 7 years not a short period. The guy's mum ask him dont break with his girlfriend but her son refuse. What is the reason? All is because he get a new girl...(speechless....) I know who is the guy and his ex girlfriend, when check my sister's facebook, saw the guy new photo with his new girlfriend. This new girlfriend was so pretty. No wonder will break... Pretty resemble everything, 7 years love and sensation also not enough to fight with. sad for the ex girl friend ya... Love is just like that? i wonder.. Just for me, empower women is the most important things. We can survive without guy!! Gambatteh!!



End up with take back own hearts?

AIDS vs HIV

A singapore drama which mention about AIDS been show in the astro now. I watching as usual cause i felt singapore drama damn meaningful. The drama is about a guy get AIDS because he have coitus with sex worker accidentally. Just one time then take his life. This disease destroy his life, his family and etc.. The drama spread the information about AIDS in an indirect way. That's good i found about singapore drama. AIDS and HIV really does take many life, and it may be a way of God to control those do practice multiple sex partners. My friend asked me to be volunteer of AIDS day this weekend, i reject her invitation because it is in sg wang. Quite far for me to go there and my sister will come back to celebrate my dad birthday again and family gathering. After watched the drama, feel regret to chose not to go. Well, i cant contribute my energy but i will support all my friends that will be volunteer. Jia you to all of you ya.. Support AIDS day o!!!

Predicament

My cousin who getting marry send the invitation card and some biscuit to my house.. Well,her mother follow as well,that is my aunt. They talked to my mum and start talked about our relatives. I got an auntie who said to be my "gan" mother. She is my dad's sister. Well, i was totally not agree about that. I just met her maybe once or twice a year. Why should i called her as mother? I always asked and grumble to my parent about why you all wan make me her daughter? She is not rich as well..haha..The most important thing is i think she treat everyone of us is the same?The only different is i address her in different way.
She got no children. I heard her first husband die very early. After that my grandma worried she will be a widow forever, and marry her to another guy.
Few years ago, i knew that she get arthritis or goitrous, she become physically disability. She may need assister to walk. My mum will give her money little by little as the money is belong to my grandma and hers. My mum just help her to take out from bank. Many people said her husband use her money to survive. I not sure.. But quite possible..No wonder people said must get a good husband,do not marry because of wan marry.
My aunt who came and told my mum that now she cant walk at all. She has to depend on others take her to bathroom and just wear diapers. Now she just bath once a three days. Feel so sad for her and i not sure she still have any money left or not.
My dad was so nervous when he know about this. I can felt my dad is a person who very care for love and family. I dont know what else we can do? I just wish her can be heal and live better..

Bubbles...

Took a shower with numb and bored feeling... Accidentally press my body shampoo and a few of bubbles pop out.. The bubbles make a smile appear on my face... A smile can be so simple and easy.. Think of the babies and children like and smile a lots when see bubbles.. The magic of bubbles.. Bring back memory which in childhood and thats so simple and lovely.. Happiness can get so easily.
Life can be so simple...

1st flight to sarawak..

1St time get travel by flight...What a nice experience for me..the plane started with fast speed and than took off...the building n car getting smaller and smaller,the sky was blue , the cloud under of mine..Quite amazing..but the air asia seat is nt comfortable at all..
Sibu trip was nice..We were so relax..See yi's family treat us very good..Her mum made a lots of food for us..We just kept eating,all complain that we are going to be fat d..haha.. We slept well,slept early,woke up early..Even had bakery class there..haha.Enjoy alots indeed..

Simple love

What i deserve for is just a simple love..Two people love each others..They fall in love deeply and cant see others...The guy will show up and make the girl angry purposely then happy again...More people only make people confuse..love that simple just like the love in every first love and love in student time..
I wish i am......
Deserve for it.....

Final finish

Finally finish all my final test...quite heavy examination for me..I know that there are harder one which waiting for me in the future..Well,take a breath and know it can be done at the destination.
Went to midvalley to sang k and watched movie at the first day..The second day went to ice skating in sunway..As a new learner,i dont know how to control the movement and have to learn one by one..Luckily i din fall down and there are friend who know how to play..Tat make us can enjoy as if u cant balance,there are someone to help you and bring u around.U jz need to hold him tight..It quite romantic if you go with your lover..Well, it fun also if go with friend.enjoy the time you can be free to be around on the ice...haha..enjoy alots...happy time...

Exam preparation

Home sweet home make people enjoy and comfortable.. Din really concentrate in study at all... Dunno how my maternal exam will going to be?Hope for the best!!

Perspective?

i just apologize and want lets you know that i not dont want answer your call.. I just busy having fun with my friends.. You seen so unhappy with your reply in messeage..Did i did anything wrong? Or you think i should answer your call?
Chilling with friends is a big matter? What if last time you just bother and hang out with your friends?
If we blame others,should we consider what we did and others feeling???
Girl should just focus on guy and put guys at number 1? Meanwhile, guy can choose to hang out with friend without bother girls?
Sorry that i cant be girl like that who put Boyfriend as number 1..
Perspective not same???
Wonder...

Rumour of no water supply?

Get a news that hostel will be no water supply for 2 or 3 days or even a week. First thing cross my mind was back home..HAha..This news make me desperate for go home.. Knowing that my mum and sis will back from singapore today..Hope they arrive safe...Back home or not? Depends on situation...

FOCUS first!!!! haha

Chatting with you..

After a night of chatting with you..I know you more, and i was enjoyed our night.. haha.
When know about your background, it made me even more believe that everyone had his own story.And those story contribute to their attitude... I was thought to encourage you or give you some support at first. But at that moment i found that i m not qualified to encourage you,as you stronger and better than i am..I just a normal girl that had to learn many things more... I feel impressive with your determinance.
Please remember that you are not qualified to be a "he shang", you will find a good girl in your life.. Please jia you and be confident..I believe in your capability...
GAmbatteh ya... I will jia you too....haha

Time show...

I realise i called him at the first moment when accident happened. It made me think alots. hesitate about am i still love you the most or i called you just because you more experienced in settle it? However, i din felt any big concern from anyone at the end except my friends who played basketball with me. Thats what i mind..?
This accident change my mood, my mind.. I chose to just talked to someone and not share with someone. What really i wan to do? i not really know.
Time will show the truth , but please forgive what wrong decision or things that i made..
PLEASE....

Accident

Sunday night, my sis and dad as usual fetch me back my uni.. I was thinking a lots of things on the journey back home. Suddenly, my sis made an emergency break. Our car almost knocked the car in front of us..We glad that we can stopped at the moment and sin knock the car in front. Unfortunately, things doenst go well as we think. The car behind bang our car. My sis and me totally lost direction and dont know what 2 do..We were pretty nervous. Luckily my dad was there. He went down from the car, and go to talked to the others. I just sat inside the car and even not dare to go down.. Useless right? I felt myself so useless and cant handle situation by myself..
We found that this accident included 3 cars. The car behind us knocked us because those behind it knocked it butt first.. After jot down all the car number plate, we went to police station to report..The police's behaviour just like other government department officer.. You all should know what i mean. We met two guys there. They looked fierce, got tatoo, even got scar that scary in their face. They worked there to help people settle accident case. Therefore,other can send their car to their bangkel to repair. After settle all things, i back to my hostel..
I felt very bad cause i think that all because of me, if i dint back home then everything wont be like this. I am so sorry to my sis. When i reached hostel, my sis asked me m i ok? Cause i sit behind,so maybe the knocking will hurt me..I was so touched with her simple question.
I knew i have nice family members. I found who love me the most..But i still cant stop to blame myself..I found the guy that love me and i love the most is my dad..
Thanks for those who give me a hand when i need..Thanks for those who accompany me to played basketball when i unhappy..
Thanks!!

Shogun

I was went to shogun for japanese buffet in sunway just because there got 35% discount and i never try to eat that. Everyone tried their best to eat as much as food they can included me. Felt full until wan vomit at the end.. HOwever, i tried many of the food there, but still dun like the raw meats. I think people who love to eat raw meats and can eat a lots more suitable to those buffet..It is a good try and nice journey overall..

Way to back home on 16 oct

Morning, went outside to wait for bus towards ktm station. After waited for 15 minutes, the uni bus came and i broad in. Met the 3rd year class rap and his girlfriend, i knew his gf's hometown also same as me-seremban.. However, they went to a date but not home.. This prove my studies in last sem that the best cure for homesickness is find a lifepartner at uni..haha..

I was reading when waited for the train to come when i was in serdang ktm station. Suddenly, a woman came infront of me and looked at me.. This made me shocked. I was keep think about what should i do. She requested me to give her a hand by give her rm5 to have a meal. I stuck and finally i refuse to give because she was still young and not handicap.. She went to next person after my refuse. All the people seen refuse her too. Maybe everyone thought she was cheating. I think i will give her some money if i got small amount money,but i just have rm10 in my purse.

Lost of brave

I used to love with my 100% heart.
I used to falls in love without care of there are raining or sunny day..
It was so strong and deep love..

Now, i found that the brave for me to love 100% is lost..
Because i growing up and become rasional?
Or because the pass had change me?

No matter what, i am who i am..
Maybe love that slow and warm is better than that provocative and vigorous one...

Nothing is in a nature of things

We used to think that everything is in a nature of things, who should treat me good, everything is in my plan and going well..Thankful gone by this way of thinking... We keep busy and put all others later and said it is on my plan to do it later...This close our eyes from precious one..
We never think how if things out of our plan???



..............TREASURE........BEFORE TOO LATE.......

" GIVE without hope for TAKE"

If someone ask me what type of guys that every girls can't skip and let him go? My answer will be someone that willing to give and sacrifice for the girl but never hope for any reward from the girl. Just watched drama that the girl also knee down to an ugly guy that can sacrifice for her. He can pay for large amount of money and all his money just to make her happy and smile. This remind me of my own mind and view..For me, i may not like a guy easily. When i found that he can show his heart, care, concern and do many things for without request for my repay, i will touched by him.. In the other hand, if someone said i din give response after he did something for me and even count what he did for me, bought for me, or even bring me to some place.. I wont blame him, cause it is normal to count.Maybe i will count to if i were a guy.. Just i will doubt that is that a true love.. However, it is super duple hard to find someone who is selfless and will just give and hope for nothing.. I know love is give and and take,no matter family love, friend love or couple love..Therefore, i will just hope for the best..
P/S: just want to share...

Loussy Day

Wait for my friend to give me a ride to commuter station after the lab test..The time had reached 6pm, i was still waiting.. I send a message to her..I found that she really forget me and gone back herself.. A sad and helpless feeling came to me..I knew she dont have the responsibility to fetch me,and i din blame her. Just i cant hide my sadness..
Reached commuter station and the train reached around 6.30pm. I had to rush back because my sis was waiting to fetch me back and she got work later..When the train stopped by, it just like what i expected- crowd. I cant find a seat and i had to stand with no holder cause all just stand like sardine inside the tin. I had to swing inside the train myself..The feeling was empty and lonely...
One more station i will reach my station and gt a seat.. An announcement was made when i just sit down..This train got some problem.Passenger who go seremban have to go down and wait for another train coming..I just stand up and walked out to continue my way to back..
Finally get back to batang benar station..I felt relief..My bro and sis came fetched me..Then we went to a restaurant, met my dad and mum there. They looked nice, after talked to them, i felt happy again..LOve you all and sorry for my sis for make her late to her place.......

Guys

Not dare to express and action
:
:
v
Words without action
:
:
v
Words + Action

Every guys have to pass through this process.. However, it need time.......................

Move and Step Forward

Nice tang lung festival organised by students college 17,UPM.. I like the performance, and the little lantern all over the basketball court is the my preferable.. The festival ambience was so strong, and the little lanterns were very cute.
Before the activities, saw you settled in the basketball court. You lead your team to decorate and did work in the basketball court. This shown your leadership that you learned. I happy to see this, but just din tell you.I also realize lots of girls took photo with you, show you are so famous o..haha..
You told me that you are not confident. Actually everyone not confident, but confident can be earn little by little when you move forward, did some work that you think is you are not capable before..We learn step by step, moving forward step by step. Every university students need that. You did a good job, at least you move faster than me..Shame on me..haha
Anyway, be confident, not afraid of trying, keep working hard, the bright and colourful life and lovely sky belong to everyone of us..GAMBATTEH!!!

Theory and Application

Long time din take bus as my transport. I dunno the system was changed to you have to buy the ticket before you broad the bus instead of give money to the driver straight away. When i enter the bus, the driver requested me to buy the ticket first. Oh no, i had to go down and bought the ticket.
After get my ticket, i sat at one place and the bus started to move.
When we reached one bus stop, there were few older broad in to the bus. I just stood up and lets one of them to sit on my place. Sorry that there is no enough for them. However, there were many youngster who also sit on their place. They even younger than me. Some are couple and stick together as they cant see others. Why are they dont want to stand up. I feel great cause i capable stand for half hour in the bus. They dunno they should do tat? Quite disappointed with youngster nowadays..
Well, Malaysian do learn the theory of respect the older and should give their seat to the older, but how many of them do apply it? I got no answer........

Tsunami

Hang out with my friend for a movie - tsunami.. It is a korean movie. This is a touch and reality movie for me..When you reach the terrible situation, human cant do anything,no matter how advance the technology is. I asked myself will i scared if i meet those situation, the answer is yes for sure.. You can see how selfish of human when they want to survive, you also can know who is the one who treat you the best and feel the love among human being. Human being really complicated..haha.. The scene that make me drop my tear is when the hero chose to sacrified himself and lets the other guy. This hero is a honest and naive guy.The girl played around him and even said he is poor lubber. However, when reached the moment he changed become so man as he is a lifeguard. He showed his love to the girl. No many guy who can do this to the girl he love instead of her bf who look handsome and rich. Well, CANT JUDGE THE BOOK WITH ITS COVER,this is the meaning. This movie really give me lots of motivation. I know i should appreciate time and do whatever i like and appreciate those who love me, and those i love.

You may know..

We used to did something that we also dont know the reason why we did that..
Cried without reasons, run without planning, played basketball without thinking,etc..
We may dont know why we did it right now, but i believe we will know the reason one day in the future..

Changed

You said i m changed a lots...You said i wont do this and that last time...
We always complain others about how he/she treat us and whats the wrong things he/she did..
Did we ever stand and try to understand their view?
Why he or she is changed?Whats make he/she changed..All this we just dont care...
Time for us to learn....
Girls just need others try to understand them..
Girls may be emotional, they just want more attention..Thats all...

Family

I heard a bad news from my mum..It make my mum moody,i do too.. Because of some problem in communication, my mum have to make a big scarified and a big payment. It make me even dont like my relatives. I know maybe what in my mind is very childish..I just cant control myself..
I can dont want money, dont want boyfriend, dont want many things, but FAMILY i cant..
For now,i really cant forgive those people, i dont think i can call them when i saw them..Time do help me please....
Mum, i really hope this thing will be settle down soon..Just like what you mention, money is just something that around us.
I just wish i can protect and contribute to my family with my limited ability...

Keep Quiet....

I m sorry that said something i should not and make you into trouble..
I cant bare what i think and must find out an answer..Did i really feel better when i know the answer?.
I m a busybody.Always hope to know everything that happened and know what others said.
WHat benefit do i get if i know all the gossip and incident?
I wonder........
I keep blame myself for make things worse...
Can i stop my childish action and be myself?
I rather choose to be a quiet girl start from today...
I will rather just do what i like and focus on my own..
Enough for being a busybody person,I start to hate myself like that..
To prevent i hate myself and make things worst..
Keep Quiet,rachel......

Distance

Not everyone know the real meaning of love. Got feeling = love or like? How about suddenly feeling gone?Maybe u like someone without ur notice and realise.
After i heard the story of you all went to the mines.How you and her not in good mood..I was shocked when i know all that.It make me more sure that she really like you..I found that she so like you,it quite make me worry..I know i should do something...
I know i should not let you feel that you got hope..I may hurt you..The main problem now is when i know she like you so much..I may hurt her too...I unable to hurt so many people..It will make me hate myself..
I am thinking that we may need to keep distance between us..She is my housemate,i should care for her...I will try my best to keep this beautiful distance and still be best friend..:-)

BAD BAD BAD

Today only i sure that our microb test2 will be held on next wednesday night..First thing to do is to message my sis after know this news...My mum went to buy ticket,but already sell finish.
Dont hope because of me then make my sis's holiday gone like that..Feel so sorry...Why i always did something that no benefit to others and just make trouble??

Sorry to hear

After maternal class,i decided not to have a movie with my friends.Being a ffk queen again(ffk-put aeroplane).The main reason is i dont know whats the purpose for me to go there as i nt really interest in that movie and i hope to sit down even do nothing.Lazy~~~
Received a message from my sister.I being inform that my church friends father pass away due to cancer..What a sad news indeed..It make me wan pray that hope he will back to heaven and be together with the Lord..
We should appreciate more to people around us instead of waste many time...

Be a good girl...

She did a lots that make my daddy and mummy worry and uncontrollable..
My mum just keep complaining to me and wan share her sadness with me..
Even my eldest sis also called her as trouble maker..
I dun like my parent keep complaining to me.I know they are worry and wan find a way to release..
What i can do is only be a good daughter..
and i should behave myself...
I did a lots that i think quite crazy when i was young..
When i know i m still immature,i will like to choose not to hurt anyone..
I know you all treat me very good,this is the reason i dont wan you all to wait..
I dont even know why gt guys will like girl like me...
For what i did so much last time,i feel myself is so complicated..
For me,u just like a white and fair blank paper that never being use...
Dont hope i make black spot on it..
What you all should get is a good and innocent girl,
then build a sweet and pure love..
I dont hope to hurt anyone..
Immature make me cant be very loyalty..I not sure it just a simply feeling o what..
MY past also make cant really feel safety in love..
Maybe i m someone who hard to feel safe...

Weekly

Just finish my metabolism test..It make me suffering a lots..
However,last week was maternal test,
next week is statistic and microbs test..
I already cant remember how long the tests come week by week d..
This is university life?i wonder..

Course night 2009

This is my 2nd year course night..Well,course night mainly organise to welcome those 1st year and great those in last year.As i m in 2nd year,we were just organizer. However,when i 1st reached there,i was so lonely because all my friends gt their own job.The only things i can do is wait and eat.. I was participate in one couple dancing.When i was dance,i am so nervous until i gt hand shaking again.My partner felt it and make him nervous too.I should said sorry to him..haha.. Got an event that guys will invite girls to dance.As nutrition course got many girls and amount guys just like dinosaur..Therefore,i think i will just sit there and look at people dance..what surprise me is when i was sat there,suddenly someone held my hand and pull me out..When i think back now,it was such a scene that i only saw in movie before..Have to agree that it is quite romantic..Thanks to him too...

First Time

Microbe lab again..today handle with virus,so have to go in and out virology lab for many time..For me,being first time sitting in front of Laminar flow cabinet alone,do work alone and guide by the instructor..Nervous and shaking hand disturb me a lots..However,the kind lab assistant said first time always like that and this is why we need to learn.Thanks her alots..
After that,i have to complete my work in virology lab..This time watching by an arab PHD student.
He in charge of this lab..He stand aside watched me do my work.When he saw my hand shaked,he asked me is i nervous.I answer as yes.After that,my friend told me that he laugh at me..Damn...he should encourage student instead of laughing..Being a PHD student is not everything,just a normal person too..Hope next student wont really care about his laugh too..
Conclusion,i did learn a lots this time...

ENding

Everything has an ending...
No matter how the ending is,sad?happy? or not like what we expected, it still have 2 end..
Just like you watch a movie,
Maybe the hero and heroin not as what you expected when it come to the end..
Maybe you feel very sad about the ending and dont want it end or has a bad ending..
You still have to stand up,walk up and leave the cinema........

I not wish to know

Why wan tell me about you n her?
Why you want the cycle keep repeating?
Knew you even went to jogoya with her last few weeks..
I start doubt that why you din bring me go last time..
Why she asked you go for bowling then you will agree?
Why she asked you go for expensive food then you also agree?
I remember last time i asked you go for movie but you ask me better to download..
Or you just send the movie for me and asked me watched..I ald feel very happy..Is it what make me touch easily seen so stupid??
Is it because you feel not worth for bring me go tat type of place but she did?? I nearly want to scream or scold to ask you stop telling me about you and her...Luckily i endure and didnt do that..
I doubt that is it i didnt request you to bring me go anywhere..that is my problem?
Understanding is a good or just a stupid action?
I wonder.......
Be tough..my girl...

New..

Saw a friend changing his status in facebook..His this action make me think of whats the feeling when you know your ex has a new relationship..Just like the same situation that i may facing now..
I dont know he is in new relationship or not, maybe just got someone like him...Sometime will fell like why he so fast can forget me d..haha..If i tell you that i m totally ok and that is a lie..haha..
Anyway,i know i should let him go and pursuit his own happiness..
Dont know he will know what is in my mind or not..Maybe he already forget about my blog d..haha
Wish you happy always...

Stupid....

90% laziness + 10% luck = STUPID??


However, STUPID is a bad word..Please do not use frequently..

Doing......

Love someone with whole of your heart...
Be friend with others with your sincerity....
Do everything with your best and heart...
Simple principle of mine.......

TESTS

STRESS.....No feeling??????

FEEL and MATURE

Someone in your eyes can be 100% good, but dunno why you just cant crazy in love with him..This is mean by no feeling?..I heard this from a television show.. I wonder is this my feeling? What should i do? I hate to make decision,just because i scare the feeling of regret.Or maybe i scare of being responsible of what i chose and decide..Thats why i always follow the rules and be a good girl in my parent's heart..Never make them worry.But did i live out myself? I wonder...I know when you mature enough,you wont regret whenever you make decision. In this confusing and complex time,i know i have to be mature and choose the best for everyone.. I hope i can be alone then learn more and be independent..I hope time can pass through and make up my mind and make me a better girl. I can endure lonely and everything just not hurt anyone...

Words

The one you love may not treat you good,
The one who treat you good may not the one you love,
therefore you have to know how to choose who is the best for you.

Deep words that not everyone can understand..
What amazing words that resemble to me... :)

Fever

Sudden fever in this morning..When my friend message me that she gonna go for a blood test as she got many symptom..It make me more worry and scare..I feel very not well after that..
My family members even more worry and scare when they know i am not well..
My mum took me to see the doctor..the doctor seen not that scare also,as he din wear mask.
I am not worry about myself,what make me worry is my family members..
I know my friend will go check,she promise me will tell me when she get the result..However,now already very late.There are still no any news from her..The waiting time make my heart cant feel relieve.I keep scratch my hand and some small spot appear..It make me shocked as i think i may allergy to the medicine i took..But i think not because of that..Hope so..
Hope all the best for us...Pray a lots...

Sudden mid sem holiday

Tuesday morning,we went to statistic class as usual..However,Dr Bashar din come and we just can go back after get our lunch...When it come to microb class, my friends told us that Virus H1N1 already get in upm..According to her,we can leave after 3 pm..We were so suprise and keep messaging to search for confirmation and think how to back home..Our noisy make the lecturer looked at us and asked what is happening.My friend told him about this news..He said he heard that too..Another minute,the student representative annouce that upm gonna closed from tomorrow and last for 1 week,this week is replace our mid sem holiday..Nw,whole class is noisy...
After class,we rushed back to our room and start packing straight away..When finish our fast packing,we went out to wait for bus and get to commuter station.There are so many people waiting for bus..When bus coming,the bus already full of passengers,we got no chance to enter.Too bad situation..I spend more than 1 hour just to wait bus..Reached commuter station d,there are another crowd..My journey will took 45min usually,but now take about 2 hours++...Bad condition,but i understamd that the whole upm got about 10 thousand plus students..All back in few hours,traffic sure jam..
We rushed back home like refugee to run away..What a amazing experience to me again...haha..

Lab work

This is a moody day for me.. Talk less, joke less and happy less..
today thursday again,have to attend the microbiology lab..Today about staining..
In the process of doing work,there are many things i could see..All bad things,maybe because i m moody..I know as a christian i should not talk bad about others..But just can blog here..
There is a step in the procedure that we need to trip in the slide in to a chemical called malachite green,this is a pre-cancer agent..I had a friend who very care about her health..
She asked me to do that dangerous work...I m ok with it if u ask properly..However,today is my moody day,i m glad that i din angry and scold out on the time..She is just the type of girl that in hokkien can called as kia si - mean scare to die if translate directly..Maybe there is a misunderstand,but this is what i felt in my special moody day...
On the other hand, there a group of people who used 2 microscope..While, we got no one to continue our work with that..Quite sad...Did the work d but cant get result..When we get the microscope already near 5 pm..Therefore,we just get 1 or 2 results..Haiz....Sien..

The end..

From the day i required to break up until now already more than 1 month d..
What i really wan to mention is the reason i wan break is because the care and not gt what third people..Hope you believe...
When i knew that he gonna see firefly with the girl, i admit that i got abit unhappy..However, i knew he should get a better one,and i should not be so selfish d..Therefore,i wish he can be happy during the trip..
Last night, he told me that he is giving up d...I was quite suprise..Just one month of chasing process already give up..Well, i know i m not that pretty and charming..No guy will spend more time on me..So,i just worth for one month??haha... The reason is he know we impossible to get back d..Thus,better dun waste time???thats my question...When u all guys think the chance is zero,u all will just give up?? For a girl, she wont do that,if she love a person,she will just care for him even there is IMPOSSIBLE..This is the different between guys and girls?? Perhaps..
I did not mean i need a guy to care for me even no chance d.. I just doubt why guys are so different from girls...I already sad for a day...Why sad?? Because i really know it already reach the end...
A beautiful ending?? I not sure..
Stop keep in touch with others just for make my mind clearer,but still cant concentrate in class and lab..
Now only i know tats so difficult to end a relationship..Especially first love,last time i used almost 6 months to recover,now???nobody know..
One more day will be fine? i hope so..
Sorry for those i din reply messages to....
P/S: Think carefully before u start a relationship and appreciate the one you have..

Bomb in jusco

Last friday, my friend and i enjoyed of sang in green box,we went to shop for some clothes and pant..After moment to chose and tried..We get the right one that we want..When the promoter was help us to write the bill, the alarm was rang..We looked around and found that nobody care about the alarm..Therefore,we just dont bother also until the security asked us to leave from the building as soon as possible..That time i quite scare and dont know what going to happen..After that,we just left jusco and back homw with many questions in our mind..We found out that there are a fake news of gt bomb at jusco byreading newspaper..haha..Whats a experience??

Addicted to drama...

My friend intro a nice korean drama for me to watch..The love that presented by the drama will make all the girls start their imagination..How the guy do so many things just because of the girl...haha..Even my housemate who are very man also start imagine..Amazing right?? But all of us know that love like this wont exist in the real world, and wont exist in our life too..haha..My tears come out when the guy dont believe the girl and the girl being bully by all the friends..After being bully till cant endure anymore,the guy only come out and said sorry to her..Is it must be hurt only get the sorry from guy...I wonder...haha..Hope it wont affect my study..haha...

Romance.

I read a short story in reader digest..The title is washing romance..The story mention what a woman thinking in her mind when she waiting the washing machine to work..
She got a 14 years old daughter,she disagree that she date as she still very young..Her daughter very angry and shout out to this woman that she dont know what is romance..She recall back she was a drama team members..In the drama team,there is a guy who famous and crush on by many girls...She acts the heroine in the new script and the guy was the hero..They got a kiss screen that they have to present a fake kiss..During the performance time,she ready her position for the kiss,and let the guy turn his back to the audience,so people will think they really kiss.However,the guy din turn his body and he really give her a big real kiss..She was shocked and pretend she was enjoyed it..After the show,she din get any response from the guy except a sorry..And the guy now is her husband who greet her good morning in the morning when she just open her eyes and said good night as the last word for every night for 20 years..Is this not a romance?her mind keeps on thinking..She just wan her daughter get the same romance as hers or maybe even better.....Suddenly, a hug for her from behind..That is her husband and ask her go for their daughter and talk nicely...
I just share a nice story here..Is it a guy and romance that every girl hope for?Absolutely yes!! It is not easy to greet a person good morning and night for so long time..They also know what is in their couple mind..Maybe this is the soulmate that we mention...Hope everyone and me can lucky as hers...Gambatteh,my all sisters friend!!

First week of semester 3..

Second year is a new year and a harder year for me...I taking only 5 subject this sem,but already want faint...
Sosiology
Surprisingly that this subject is in malay, maybe before this i din really know what is this subject about..It just like the further study of hubungan etnik..Damn dislike this type of subject..We need to visit the kampung asli village to fullfill our assignment..Dont know which village to go, and have to worry about transport...
Statistics
Before end of second semester,i already heard that this is a hard subject..We chose group 2 to register..The lecturer is a foreigner,maybe from iran or iraq that type of country..I found hard to understand his words...That is a big problem to me...When i attend his class,i have to spend a lots of concentrate to listen to him,that make me headache sometime..haha
Maternal health
This is Dr mary's class..She teached us population last sem..We already used to her teaching style..So this is not a problem..The different is this sem we got lab class..The first day of class,i still consider whether we should bring labcoat or not,because the venue is in lecture hall.Finally,we din bring and we found that this is a dry lab class.We have to do report or visit some people outside..It is not the laboratory lab..She gave us a hard report to do in first week,now still blur with it.
Metabolismes
This lecturer is a prof,but we realise doubt about it..She is my friend's academic advisor..First day of class already piss off with us as we cant decide a time for replace class..My buddy told me that they din understand what she teach about in class..I gt the same feeling after enter her class for first time.
Basic Microbiology
Bacteria...Something we cannot see with our eyes..In class,the lecturer told us that now we gonna study about the things that we cannot see with our eyes..It is very interesting..I know i going to memorise many of the bacteria specific name and words,as i hate to memorise things.
In lab class,the lecturer used more than an hour to explain the safety way in lab,that we already know..She said we must very careful as now we gonna to work with SOMETHING THAT WE CANT SEE WITH OUR EYES..same sentences again...This lab is the first lab tat seen so serious and took the longest time in my lab time than usual before..However,i know i have to learn properly as this course got the lab exam..Oh my god,very scare of this as i usually just played during lab section..haha..
Wish me all the best to over come all this...

Semester 3

Today is the first class we attend...Suprisingly,this subject is in malay.The lecturer keeps on told us about his background and his achievement...From this,i know we may need to visit the orang asli village to complete our assignment..Brain and mind still blur and empty..Everything like a new start..I become hyperactive when see my friends..Thursday will be back home..Hope everything going well this few days...Quite scare of my assignment and exam that coming soon..Hope i can handle it well and do it well...nt just simply copy and paste like last time..haha..
I still confusing about something..I feel like everything gonna change very fast including myself...
Thats why i cant comfirm anything including relationship..Maybe i got no confident in future..It seen like very hard to love and take a good care of someone for a long time..Cant deny this is human weakness..I just hope i can let thing go by itself..This is the only thing i can do now before i make sure i can start and stick to someone..Then maybe only will be fair for everyone that around me..
I dont know he like me or not??but the present he gave to me make a lots of question pop out from my friend..hope we are too sensitive..haha.but really like the heart of him and the sincere of this souvenir...thanks alots...friend forever...

Last night of holidays

Been through a long long holidays...Planned to work in this long sem break..Well,got work for only few days...haha...Dont know what i had achieved in my free days..Like wasted a lots of time d..What i am sure is i have rest enough..
Tomorrow have to back to hostel already,but still dont know what to pack.I think should have a lots of stuff i should packing..Still thinking what are those important stuffs...Maybe i am lazy to pack or i m unwilling to pack..haha...Not really wan leave my comfy house..haha.I think most of the university students also got the same mind and thought as me..haha..
This is my second year d,i am a senior now...Cant wait to see the new faces in my faculty..
I enjoy my freedom right now..Like dont want to be control d..haha..I m so bad..
I will try my best to be more independent and learn a lots in this new sem..:)
This is my 60 post..haha..mean i wrote almost 60 essay in my holiday with broken language?haha...Good..Maybe my blog will be inactive d..But i will try to write more during my free time..

Movie with him

I went for transformers with him just now...Just two of us..We went to eat pizza first as our lunch..We chatted happily...This moment is very relax and peace just like old friend gathering..Finally,i gave him the present d...After that we went for our movie... I can feel what he want,what he hope...Maybe this is the first time that i know i am so unique and important for him... Saw him very sad when i did something that may hurt him...Everytime i saw him very sad and hurt..I got the feeling to hold his hand and hug him..Well,i know i cant do that...I also control myself d..I success to control myself oh...Last time sure cant,m i become mature d?haha.... On the way back home,he let me know what he hope and want...If i said i totally dont love him d..that's cheating...I m human,i got feeling...I can let it down but still need time to suit myself..I told him that he must can find a girl that much more better...I hope he can happy too..I m sincere to blessing him..I shout to him,you must be happy...In this moment,is very very peaceful..Just like i can feel what happen in future..My sixth sense let me know tat we got a happy future on our own...I am happy with it...When we meet again,must be a best friend.. I know you wonder why i cant give you 1 more chance..I just can tell is feeling,feel that i should let u go this time...That will be good ending of us... I felt hard when i have to give you back the phone...But i should give back to you de...Even i looked very happy,it just because i wan make you happy too.I cant show my sad face to you.. Hope you like the present..If we are still together i will write that "Everytime we went out and i see you open your wallet paid everything for me..I know i should let you own a new wallet and the wallet is just like me to accompany you no matter where you go." I din write this for you cause it is not necessary anymore..haha.. Anyway,i know i never regret be together with you..You teach me a lots and give me a nice and memorable memory..Thanks you... This will be a beautiful full stop of our story.. I dont know what is going happen in my future,I will face every trouble with my toughness..Maybe my faith will shaking,but i will keep on going... Maybe on my own or maybe not Sometime i wonder if i let you go d,will i miss the one who treat me the best or love me the most? However,life is full of decision...I will take what happen in the future.. Both of us must gambatteh o!!Keep our life on happily.. We must can own our sky with blue...

Hard?cruel?non kind???..

I stick to my decision,maybe you wonder why my heart so hard..You also hate me like that right?Until you asked me went to teach my friend how to be hard and break with her bf as her heart always too soft to do that..haha....
When i told my friends that i already break up and single..They asked me is that true? why i looked like nothing only? I will give a smile as reply...Maybe all of you will think my heart is very hard..
I also dont know how to explain...Just let it be how you all think of me...
Why my tear stil will dropping when i know many that think my heart is very hard?It already quite a long time i din cry d...
I never hope anyone can understand me well...Cause that is impossible...
I have to try dont mind how people think of me...
As my holiday going to finish,i felt that i am heart-free...
Like nobody can take my heart away d...
Maybe that will make me more fresh...
Looking forward to my new sem...
LIM KAY LING must gambatteh yor!!!
Rachel,your family love you,God love you,and i love you too.Thats already enough...:)

iPod settlement

My brother set up the new i-pod.He fail it..After that,we settle together and we still failed..
After mt brother back to pj,i tried myself..I found that i no the apple ID ...If i want get the apple ID,i have to key in credit card number..I felt it weird so i skip that. I started to be hot under the collar after worked hard for an hour still get nothing..
I wan give up d,then my friend found me that i am moody and asked me what happen..
I told him about my porblem,he help me search and give me a link finally..
By his help,i get the apple ID d..i get to insert songs into the i-pod d..
Wao,thanks him very much..Muackz...haha
The feeling of done of a touch mission is so great,especially when you think give up but finally u did it..haha..Thank you....actually without his help,i sure cant get to it..haha.

Family Day

Finally,my family reunite again.We treasure this moment..We went to celebrate belated father's day..Went to a delicious dinner in seremban..We have a enjoyable chatting time..haha..Since we all talk nonstop,and the restaurant become noisier as we enter it..

We talked about working in the society nowadays..My sister said the most fast method for you to promote and success is backstab others and make you climb higher...That even better for you to work very hard or overtime in office..
Last time,i may meet situation like this before when i worked part time..Actually i am nt mind they backstab me as i just a temporary worker..haha..I dont hope to promote or other else..I just wan get my pay then enough..Maybe because i am a cowards as well..In future,i dont know what will happen..I may don know how to be disguise and dunno how to make my boss happy..haha..So,i think i would not get promote very fast to high position ya..haha...Quite worry ya..hehe

Why this world will become like this??haiz..sad
Luckily,i still have my lovely family to depend on..haha

Environmentalist Restorance

As usual,i enjoyed my tv time..I watched a introduce food programme this afternoon.There is a restorance that promote organic food..All the tasty and unhealthy malaysian food become healthy and delicious in the chef's hand..All the customer give compliment to the restorance and happy that they can eat healthy...
Other than provide food,the restorance owner also provide some education.They promote recycle,encourage reading,and even the customer wash their own plate after having their meals..That was cool...If you did those things that i state,the boss will give you a chop to collect..When you collect till an amount,you can get discount or the boss will give you some organic product..That's amazing...This restorance make the public know to take care their health and change their mindset that nutritious food are no taste.haha...In addition,the public also feel the important to recycle and like to reading d...Thats was great..

The restorance just like my dream restorance..They did what i want..haha..They are loss money at first but they still happy...
Wish i can go that restorance...It is in taman desa billion,kajang...
I must persuade my mum:" Mummy,bring me go.........." haha...

Hope you all like this restorance too...haha

Help her??

My neighbour asked me give a hand in by tuition with her daughter who just standard 6...I agree.And tuition subjects are all language subject which i also quite weak in...Oh my god...She required for three days tuition,that is from friday until sunday..Mean i have to back home from upm on thursday night and keep teaching..After consideration,i decide to shorter the tuition to two days..I asked my mum tell the aunty as she always meet the aunty..What i get from my mum is she said she very disappointed with her daughter's result..Hope i can help her and her daughter..But,i have to back upm on sunday..There will be a rush for me if the tuition remain three days..What should i do? If she talk like begging me sure will soften my heart later. The tuition is starting by tonight..How ??I should remain for two days..please...

Panda Eyes

Last night slept at 2 am,my usual sleeping time..I already used to it..However,now count down for back upm,so i have to change it earlier..
My mind din rest well last night..Dont know how much and how long i dream of...And i din remember what the dream is about...All i know is it's a nightmare...Unhappy dream indeed..
I was shocked when i look at the mirror this morning..I jz looked like a panda...My eyes seem so so so bad...haiz...I have to sleep at afternoon? I worry i cant sleep earlier tonight,so better cancel my noon sleep..I will tidy up somethings else instead of sleeping..haha
Hope my panda eyes run away soon...:)

Just TIME needed?

People said time can heal wound and Time also can use to forget someone...Is this true?

I hope i can forget you...I hope i can forget someone by time pass by?

Rachel,please stop giving chances already,he wont know,he wont change,he wont understand you..You will only end of disappointed again..Heart will pain repeatly...Stop your tears from dropping d...

Love is so pain......

I not sure i can love the one who treat me very very nice..

Thanks you very much,but i cant give you any promise right now..I m sorry..

I also not sure i can forget the one who in my heart more than a year..

I will be single..I will be single...

Single is not that hard as i think..

I will study hard,i will be tough and mature..

Get better result and learn more...I will be a better girl...

Hope i can do my best in future...I promise myself.....

Happy Day

My mum get a i-pod today,but all the siblings were fight for it..Who will win?haha...See how...hehe..
After went to kl just pass a thing to a customer,we whole family went to tarot cafe to have our dinner..This was a lovely dinner..We discuss where to travel? Hope my parent can go Australia and new zealand one day..Try rachel's best to sponsor ya..haha..
And i met jasteen there,with all my juniors...Well,i confirm which is his gf already..haha.
Have a short talk with him even long time no see d..enjoy...

Simple and Complicated LOVE

LOVE can be

COMPLICATED like hard to see and feel it

Or

SIMPLE and loving

All just depend on us...

Singer zchen

Went to hang out with family in seremban parade..The coincident thing is the malaysia singer Zhang zchen came seremban parade for promote his new album..However,the crowd was so little...sad for him..His new album got many nice songs as my brother told me that..And he used his own money to sponsor this album de..When he asked the crowd to scream,the circumtance around is very quiet..Even he said he very disappointed with seremban people..haha..However i gt give some moral support to him as well..

I met my friend who study in upm also..She was with her bf..I asked what university her bf get in as her bf jz finish stpm..He get upm also..Wao..Congrate to her la..Then they can sweet sweet study together in upm d...So envy ya..haha..Wish you all the best la..:)

Gathering in friend house

Today,i went to a friend's house to gathering..We decided to wait untill 5 pm then will go find another friend..My friend's father treat us eat mangosteen...We enjoy the fruit there..While waiting,we decide to play mahjong..I am new beginner in mahjong...So,i gonna learn hard.. I got win for one game o..However,no money is involve..haha..We played until dont want go another friend's house and ask her come here better..Therefore, we can continue our game..haha..However,it is an enjoyable afternoon for me...Miss you all,my friends...