Money, the devil

Everything u get, u have to pay for it just either before or after the moment. When someone treat u, there must be compensation. There is no free lunch in the world.

I guess there is only Jesus's love which gave us without hoping any compensation from us in the world. This is the only sentence that came to my mind.

I cant blame anyone, because this is the nature of human being. I just need to accept it. I knew it is hard, but since kay yee did it just because she gt the love from Jesus Christ. I feel i really need HIS love no matter what time, place and how old m I.

Money can make ppl happy, can bring happiness and material enjoyment.

At the main time, it is also make people lost their kindness and love just because of it. It is really a devil at this moment. Many people sacrifice their time, health and everything just for money. Is this really worthy? Now I realise why bible state keep accumulate ur money in the heaven and not in the world which can be destroys easily. People can be stubborn of the money matter, but for me, I will choose happiness instead of money.

I been thinking I spent most of my time at home to get the family love and happiness, am I right?Am I getting what I want?

It is just hard for me to change. However, it is the time now. I am way to weak and i need HIM very very badly. Bring me up. I want to learn how to treasure the life with meaningful and less with the DEVIL. I admire those who live happily and meaningful even though they are not rich.

I MUST HEAD TOWARDS THAT WAY.

There is no one can compare

From the first one to this one o next one, I can clearly know my man is better and better.

However, sometime painful and suffer is still cannot escape from a relationship.

After a long time of thinking, I clearly know be the bride of HIM only will be the most blissful.

I wish I could~~

Mom's question

After so many years, my mom finally asked me a question today.

Mom:" How is your sikh friend?" asked with hesitant.

I knew she always know more than that from last time.

I did answered her lightly with a peaceful heart. Surprisingly, I even praised him in front of my mom.. Everything had passed and I really just remember the great things.

Thanks God. I clearly know this is path of grow.

Lets move on~~

Life after LI

When I was working for my LI, I was very busy that time. I used to think that my life will getting better when I finished my LI. However, now things like totally out of expectation. Just a few day I back, many things happened. I really wonder why am I so lousy? I shame on myself.

Case 1: Plan to buy a cake to celebrate my sis's birthday, I took less cake and paid more due to rushing of time.. How good if I insisted to check before leave. I had thought about want check, but I just left it in my mind.

Case 2: Cake cutting ceremony for celebrating my sis birthday. The second sis back late, the eldest sis insist to cut cake without continual waiting. I showed my madness as I think since already wait for so long and why don't just continue to wait. What make me mad is when she said she wan sing birthday song and cut the cake alone, it make the purpose of me to buy the cake celebration meaningless if everyone din celebrate together. The ending was not so nice as what we want.

Case 3: Monday period which is very painful and make me frustrated for whole day.

Case 4: He turned to be unhappy due to some car problem. Furthermore, I hurt my sis. I accidentally spoke some bad word towards her. I even sent a message to her even though she just make mum unhappy by not back on time as she promised. However, I found that she was sicked.

Case 5: Recently, I found that I lost in patient to help my parent in doing works. Just now, mum asked me to help something in settle her email. Of cause I cant remember her email and I just came up to help after she called me for many times. At last, she frustrated by kept mumbling about it is so hard to beg people for helping. I can saw she was like heartache. When I came up, without waiting me finished to look at the problem, she just shut down the laptop. It just shocked me and pull me down so deep..

I just saw myself in my mum's attitude. I somewhat like being like her when I am frustrated. Hence, I have no right to blame anyone.

I am just a girl that no use. I am just so out of the dream attitude that I want myself to own. However, I found I do not have single of those good attitudes..Kind, sympathy, optimism, hardworking all these are cant found on me..

I am just sucks.....

Cheated

Somewhat realised that myself and mum are being cheated.. My guiltiness cant stop from now..

haiz...I must learn to be smarter, better, and more optmism in order to survive in this society.

I doubt of my ability and capability non-stop...

Mutant is no exception

People needs love..

Love is so amazing and great.

It can't be described by any word.

Nobody can denied that he or she don't need love..

There is no exception.

Lonely without love is suffering for everyone even u went through evolution to become a mutant.

There is a powerful sentence that "you are not alone".

It will be means a lot to everyone.

When a mutant in the movie heard this sentence, his heart melt and warmth.

From here, we can realize the amazing grace of love..

The fact is---

~~We need love~~

From study to work

The most common topic that I share with others nowadays is working life..

It is absolutely hard when you have to change from a freedom bird to an nine hours working office lady.

First of all, you will feel like your life is ended with work alone. Non-stop complaint and moaning are never leave the mouth.

After first week of work, I found out that working is hard, I started to think of some alternative way to make future life better. The most easier and "senang" way will be marry to someone rich. Once you married, you may no need to work and get back your freedom with money from your husband.. Thats sound nice perhaps. When I went back to home, my sister teased me about my late realization about working and everyone going through the same working life as mine.

During the second week, I adapted better to the working life and the marry thought was become lesser and lesser. I should be empower woman due to I am educated girl but not yet a woman. *haha* However, I need to go to a camp that starve myself in order to excrete the mucous plaque which is harm to our body, meanwhile have to work as committee. The hardship of work is still with me. In addition, the camp is in the weekend which mean we have to work in the weekend without extra pay and replace off day. Hence, I think be a government server which have more rest and off time will be great. The thought jump from marry to government server.

We need to work back on monday straight after the camp. That's tiring indeed. We tried to figure out the current salary of our colleague, surprisingly it is not much and have to be multi-tasking. After attended wedding dinner of a friend, all of us found that money is hard to earn. Now, be a teacher is coming to my mind.

For the fourth week, everything is better. I got my first salary. Whao!! But it is not until rm300. what a poor girl..However, I am just a intern which no right to ask for any benefit. Therefore, be a boss will be the best after having a long thought. haha..

Came to the fifth week, my second and bigger presentation is coming. It is a new challenge which I worry and like at the same time. A fun dilemma of course. However, came to the day before presentation, many of the sick symptoms show out. Maybe I am weak during menstrual period. Hope I can getting well after have a rest.. God bless...

Life, mercy and love

Life is so weak..

A earthquake or a tsunami can took many life in just a minute.

Those people will be unexpected of it and even never think that today is the end. Scary and anxious is unstoppable.

We must treasure every moment that we left.

For those who is already in his golden age, do they prepare well?

Everyone will know we will leave this world a day, but scary is still there, the feeling of unwillingness to lost is still there.

I really hope grandma will be alright. Perhaps everything will be alright. I really can't imagine how if someone very close is leaving.

Lord, please release your healing to grandma. Bless mummy and my family.

Truly beg and lies on you, My LORD.

Mercy and love are from YOU..

I am weak~~

I know i am not determine and capable..

I am a coward who scare this n that, worry this n that..

I knw i m lacking so many in me..

I admit of my weakness...

Put u in my prayer

When we r weak, we will think of many barriers to prevent us to go..

However, i really hope u can go..

Even though, u showed me a super "lame" face that i dislike just now when i ask u to go, but i know tats satan work..

I wan said blek 2 that, coz it wont affect me at all..

Keep u in my pray, i put u in the hand of Jesus..

I believe HE will do his work..

Change in love

There is no guarantee that people wont change forever..No matter how much he or she love u in this moment, there is no sure and must to continue forever.

I heard they said that, when a couple marry n Jesus in the upstair of them to form a triangle shape. Then, this marriage only will be better n last longer. I believed in this...

Again, again and again

Again,again, and again.........Can it stop?

All of us also cant endure anymore..

Whats u did throw us in trouble..

I HATE YOU.. SATAN!!

I WANT YOU TO VANISH IN MY LIFE!

We grow up, why just cant understand us

We are grow up, why just cant understand us? We have our works, our plan and schedule.

We may forget to call and inform you where we go and what we do..

Izzit i dun bck n be secret n dun tell anything all the time is better?

SAD~~~

COMMITMENT

I truly understand that something is cant wait. For instance, be closer and closer to GOD. My bro is super better than i am now. I knew he hope i can go to the camp. I also dun wish 2 disappointed him..n GOD as well..I really feel my bro mature a lot.proud of him...However, I just feel i m nt ready yet. Or i m a coward who scare there is no one for me if i am goin.

I plan to have a change in this 2011. I plan to go church n be a real christian. I decided to go to church. Nevertheless, i dunno which is the church i should go? I m truly lost. If go to fga, there has a good environment. I like there, but i afraid of commitment. I thought i can go there often by has transport to back upm. After last night, i found that's hard.. Furthermore, if i go to this new church, is it a betray to the old one? One more thing is will i stop it halfway after i commit to either one. Then i lost all my trustfulness.

Many people will not understand my situation. They may think now focus on study first. Others can set later. But this is not a religion, It is a believe. Maybe this is the reason why they mention christian should couple with christian..There must be a different mindset after all..