This is the world

People can be so scary.. people can be good in disguise.. people can wear a lot of masks..

She can back stab that people, on the other hand be close with her..

Finally she got a good position, and then came explaining to u that she was not intended to be. She said the stuff is boring, but she was working very aggressively and hard for it..

I prefer those who really fight it aggressively and volunteer instead of disguise.

Or maybe just i misunderstood her and she is good?

Or just i m not aggressive enough?

Or this is the world?

just i do not adapt to it well..

There are many many more people like that in this world..

I should find my own way to deal with people like that..

FINDING~~~~

Really scared that i m not prepared for the 'reality' world...

temporary and last

I realised ......

When there is puppy love, the feeling is strong and exciting. However, it lasts temporarily, and loneliness will come back after all..

Nevertheless, if we meet true and right love, only little love u will feel. You may feel bored at first, but it is the one that can accumulate little by little and lasts longer..

love love love~~~

Complicated~~~

hehe~~

Suitable and lonely

I had been passing my days at home very unproductively..I didn't study at all, just will stay together with my tv. haha..

I saw my friends' photos. They went to many places, clubbing and some event with alcoholic for sure.. Once in a while, i will hope i just can be like them.. I want to wear very pretty, go to that type of places.. I dreamed to pass through a very 'city' and materialistic life. However, i never do due to lack of money..haha..

Now when i still will be jealous as well. But, i will ask myself, m i suitable for that type of life? Do i have the gut and money to pass through that?

Even if i am able to do that, after a party, after being pretty and even after getting the prettiest clothe and most expensive handbag..

Will i go back to loneliness after all? Thats a good question i think to all the girls....

Proposal presentation

Today we went to our seniors' proposal presentation session. Try and Imagine you have to talk by yourself with 3 lecturer sitting there and judging u. The room was cold, the air was freezing.. Somewhat tension moment. Even though i was just a listener, i also felt nervous.. Lousy me..haha..

Start worrying for my time. Well, worry just for awhile..then i will be ok.

JUST LET TOMORROW WORRIES, WORRY BY ONLY TOMORROW..

TODAY enjoy!!haha..

type A

I knew i am a type A person. I just don't want to admit as i know thats not any compliment. Somebody said i was crazy in study..Well, m i? I dont think so.. I always just can't fight with my laziness.. I knew i was stressed and frustrated when i felt thats less time and the things were out of my finger tips. To clarify, in my finger tips does not mean i can memories every single word. as long as there is something in my head, i will feel better and not frustrated. I m trying to set my type A personality, i thought i was better compared to last time. In addition, i will work harder. Anyhow, not because type A but punctuality is my way..

I really dislike people who simply reply my msg. I knew i was in bad mood when i was replying the msg. Well, by using pls which was referred to as strong word to request someone do somethg but other will think that i was very fierce. I cant change how others' perception of me. Well, i tried not to bother as well.

Nevertheless, i am still influenced by what others thought about me.. Yet, i failed again..It did let me down.. It was just hard for me to not be influenced by others. I have to jiayou d la.. I knew there will be a lot of same situation waiting for me in future. I should be used to it.

Really hope to talk to someone when i was down in hostel..Sad that there is no one for me to talk to. Last time maybe can talk to him.. have been thking talk to another guy. Well, it seems not so good, n i dun hope anythg happen as before again. Nobody would like to help me as well.

I knew i should go to GOD.. He is the best..

Bless me..thanks..

Stressful test

Just relieved myself from test 2,but there is one test left..

Four tests in a week really messed people up. Whenever I felt there is limited time with thousand load of work, i will feel dizzy.

This is the first time i let stress totally immerse myself. Stress worked on me and let my immune system down. Concentration is difficult when you were sick, this slowed my study progress.

Many of my housemates did give me a lot of medicines. I drank herb tea, vitamin C, and panadol. Many ways I used to combat the sickness.

For sure, I will hope there is someone who can take care of me. However, i knew i have to face it on my own. I will be alright even though my boyfriend is not here. haha..

Holiday end

Holiday come to the epilogue.. Refresh back what had i did. Spent my first five days in Singapore. No much visit famous tourism places. I understand the main purpose of the trip was not travel but visit grandma. I had no any complain at all. Just because i am love to stay at home.

As usual my diet is just like others even though i am wearing the braces. I think i am the minority group of those with brace and enjoy my meals. However, my nightmare started together with the Hari Raya. I found the end edge of my lower brace drop out. The second day, both edge had the same situation. It is ok if this circumstance didnt affect me. However, it did made me suffer because the end of the wire drop off and it can moved freely inside my mouth and it just stabbed in my cells. It can be describe like has a needle inside your mouth and stabbed you all the time especially when u talk and chew. The worse was the dentistry was closed because of hari raya public holiday. Then i suffered for three days. Luckily, the clever one did suggested put chewing gum to encircle the needle and relieved some of my painful. I didn't complained much as i can endure painful well. Furthermore, i deserved it when i did my decision. After that, dentist did settled the braces for me.

This was not the first time i went back to dentist for fit back my brace. Nevertheless, this was the only time which cause painful. I was informed by avoid hard food even no painful, and chew food slowly. I nodded my head. The story never end in this point as the unexpected side effect had came. I found my cells inside had truly hurt by the wire and it caused ulcerssssss with not smooth and inflamed cells. The infected region is huge.. Now i had to deal with this.. What to do..haiz

From now on, i have to try my best to suppress my appetite especially for the hard food. have to admit that i am different from others and yet never regret o...hehe..Goodbye to my lovely holiday and welcome to my suffer exam period..

Wonder

Thought i am mature. Sometime it was just fail. I just can angry easily especially towards him.

I knew i am treating him badly. I do not know why, and sometime i just cant control. I also realise i am wrong.. Where is my gender and tender go??

I already very clear that love is more than just holding hand, go dating and sharing.. Sometime it is difficult for two persons to communicate and live together. Many problems will pop out.. I become so so lazy... Just depend others do works for me? More dependent?

Or i m just not ready to be in love?

I know what i mean is already over the puppy love..

Just I have to deal with it..

The problem when you grow up and in love???

Wondering.......

Guys???

I understand i have no right to said anything...

It is just too fast...

Just don't like being cheated...

Anything that nice to hear from guy are not trusty..

The 1st one is like this..

He also like this..

I wonder you will like this or not?

I m somewhat immune d...Maybe immune till make others feel i am bad and cool blood..

Conclusion: Guys cant be trusted.

Rachel has to be tough ya.. I can depends on myself only...

Everything

Once, i was listen to lee hom's song which name everything. I impressed by his voice and his american's slang. I joked with my friends said: I want to find a guy who can pronounce "everything" properly and better it is in american's slang. I was treat it as a funny joke. What ridiculous is we even purposely asked some guys tried to pronounce it.haha.. That will made us fall in to laugh for while.

Today, i memorise the joke and crazy stuff we did in the past. I wonder is my joke become real.

Actually, how to pronounce is doesn't matter for a girl. The most important is the guy can treat the girl as his everything. (^.^)

family and future..

Family is my life.. I can sacrifice everything for it..

I knew that problem is exist, and i am clear that i clueless of it and cant handle it at all..

What can i do, i also wonder..

Why dad will become like that? How i can advise him?

Then how about my mum? She cant understand my dad. Both of them dunno how to face the problem as well..

Today i took my lunch with mum and 2 auntie.. The auntie asked is it my dad stil cant find what he want to do?One of the auntie asked me whether i think mother is very grateful. I node my head silently and together with a smile.. I really agree,i did..

She continue with do you saw many things at home? I shocked and node my head after struggle and thought for awhile. What is she really mean?

She was not the first auntie who told me have to chose partner carefully, open my eyes as large as and as wide as i can.. Told me have to think and have a longer sight in the future..

Bottom of my heart asked, izzit not marry will better in their eyes? Full of question marks in my mind..

I know what is my family is like, even it is not that normal like others. My mum is super grateful for me.. She earn a lots which more than dad.. She is work very hard until she get sick.. Tats make me feel so sad when think of this..Many people think my dad not tat good, and he is just a normal guy. BUT he does really love all of us very very MUCH...

Mum told me that she work hard is ok for her, but at least he must respect the folk..

I dunno how to answer, just keep quiet..

What i know is i LOVE my family......

Searching life partner is so difficult? Or better just be single? Or just the old time guy will be like that?

Step out

I was thought of it for few years, but i still no the courage to step out..All of this because i know the aftermath of it..

Finally, after much struggle, i get to do it..

Sometime i will be a waver, i wonder m i right for this step..

Many people around me give me big courage, i really thanks them for their support especially the special one and my family..

Lots of aftermath i have to face, but i will try my best..

I will be brave for everythg..

Never regret...

Only with you..

it is not that i'm lost or that i don't know what i want

oh i know that i can't have all then fun in the world

yes turns to no, and people may come and go

it's take it or leave it, it's reality, girl

you put on a mask, cos you know you're such a mess

when you walk into a wall, that's when wisdom will call

don't let emotions take you on another ride

for at the end of the ride is back to same old story

but now you know, hands to the sky, now it's time to fly, and you'll say

i know that only with you you can brighten up my day anytime

it's you i hold you in my heart, never far,

always near,so i can wipe my tears off my face, be brave again,

i know i can, only with you

the dawn is breakin' you wake to a beautiful sunrise

oh you know that you can't waste such a beautiful day.

listen now, get out of your own world

why put you heart on these things, and always question why?

now looking back, i was so blind,

couldn't see what's in front of me,

now i'm free, no longer tied to the past

yes things can changed but i don't have to play the same game

so now i know, hands to the sky,

now it's time to fly, hear me say

i know that only with you you can brighten up my day anytime

it's you i hold you in my heart never far

always near so i can wipe my tears off my face

be brave again, i know i can , only with you

Nice song..spoke my heart.

Professor not superman

Even in the drama that i watching, the super brilliant and handsome professor of the physic department may fall into troublesome. He was betrayed by his assistant. If he cant solve the troublesome, he will get lost of the field and cant be a professor. It is because his assistant change the formula program and let him think his experiment already success, but it was wrong. Now the world organisation discover the data in thesis that published were not true. He is in troublesome now.. He has too do the 4 experiments left in a month to assure that what in his thesis was right..rushing for time..

In the drama, the professor sure can settle this problem. Cause it is just a drama. However, It is true that everyone will meet obstacles in their journey...Even super professor will fall down by kicked the stone on the road. So like everyone of us will face calamity. What make the different is, can you stand up after fell down or not..

Grey's anatomy season 5:
smooth rides make for boring stories,
a little calamity, that's worth talking about. (copy from jasmie's blog)

Haha..

P/S: the super professor had a girl who love him to support him when he was down and busy settle the troublesome. He should feel lucky of that..so you do,dr gan....haha..

People that you not really can close with

Sometimes i feel that i am weird. When I met a person i can feel whether i can be close friend with her or him or not. I dont know other has the same feeling as mine or not, bt i do not had.

I had been busy with Nutristudy recently. I did mix around with people that i am not close with or people that i not wish to be close. Maybe i had some bad perception of them. I hope i noneed use the word of dislike or hate..

Since you involve in a job, please complete it. Not just complaining this and that. Cause you already had the commitment with it. Now only you complained, you are somewhat not respect your own decision.

I know they are not lovely, but i know i have to see everyone in their good site n not just focus on their imperfect...

Ice kacang puppy love..

Today i went to watched a movie which title is "ice kacang puppy love". It is a local movie which is talk about first love.. It was just a simple movie, not really impress, but it just tell the truth..

It showed what is the real first love is.. How it was feel.. how it was happen..How it was end as well.

All described very well in this movie.

Like most of the first love, it din end happily.

It is great for you to know how first love is or how last time malaysian life is. For those who had first love d can cast back and find out the similarity..

Prophet

I remember there was a pastor who came to my church who is seen as prophet. He was sensed everyone and give a few of words that he can know by about the person with the capability that gave by GOD. The one word that still floats in my mind is romantic. What he want me to know is I m too addicted to love and romance. This can bring a lot of harm for me.

This somewhat show the truth. I did experienced what he said. I should not so deep believed and always demand for romantic. God please change me.

I don’t want be suffer again because of love or disloyalty. I want to be determined. Nothing wrong by just stays with my first decision. Never regret..

Best Friend definition

For me, best friend not the one who always together with you, walk with you. Best friend should be someone who understand you enough. Know how to communicate with you..

This is my definition..

I knew I was wrong and make many mistake. However, i already determine for not do the stupid stuff again. You noneed to worry or stay far far away from me or see me then run away..

I will go away instead of you do..

Know a girl's mother die of diabetes bacteria infection which make me shock. I start to worry my dad and mum.. I know i need to be alert d..They older, i should be a better person..

The 潇洒rachel is come back d...

Suppression

When you feel something is incorrect, please suppress your selfishness..

Be faithful and loyalty is so hard? two times d, dun try to make yourself in dilemma and make other in suffer..

Keep pointing the blaming finger to myself..

I cant blame your way to face the problem and things..

You had your own way to suppress urself..

I m sorry....

Final Preparation

My preparation for final at home is bored and no aim at all...I just simply study for the exam.. Lost the passion..Swt..I study at home also felt bad like this. Cant imagine what will happen when i study at hostel in the next 2 weeks.. Aiyoyo..

Final faster pass..

Remind myself final is very important, it is 40%..

Be hardworking ya..

Remind those who read my blog as well..

Jiayou..haha

Amazing toughness

I just cant avoid tv section when i am home.. Accidentally, watched a very touch story...

A premature born child was diagnosed as blindness due to incomplete eye slight formed. From the day after, the mother determined to be tougher just to bring up her child..

She had resigned and focus on teach her child, so when one day she unable to take care of her son, her son still able to be independent.

She taught him how daily work, bring him to a normal school. She learned the braille and teach her son. She has to translate all the words to braille for her son to learn and "read" more. What a noble mother.

In the show, the child showed his thankful to his mum by speech and songs. All the audiences cried of touch, but his mum never drop a tear. It showed that she is so tough.. Whenever the child asked his mum why he is so different from others by cant see any colour and things? The mother will replied that when God close the door , He will open a window for you. Even you are different from them, but you have other talent..

God is Great...

I appreciate who i am and what i am..

Nutritionists jiayou to prevent premature birth and pregnancy complication ya..hehe~~

Compromise (妥协）

Listen to jolin tsai's song which name "compromise", this is a chinese song. I suddenly felt back it just like my situation when i was decided to end my first love.

The lyric mention,

You set the rule that i cant break,

I tried my best not let you fly,

I am tired of it..

Everytime also must depend on ur favor,

everything give you priority,

I just had to compromise and cooperate,

Be your puppet for one year, lost myself..

Story keep repeated,

I m exhausted of it,

I live on my own life

I hope i no need cry because of you anymore...

What a meaningful description...

Now, you change to even delete my little comment in facebook..

Thats suck...

It is your choice..

Well, you have your new one,

I live vy well now...

Not your maid..

I m not your maid..
Please dont order me..
You have no the right..
P/s: I m not a prisoner, noneed guard me doing work~~~
I can choose when i wan to do.

Not your maid..

Communication with friends

It is hard to discuss when someone not really accept your opinion and you not really accept her..

For avoid argument and unhappiness, i just keep quiet..

By keep follow her is damn suffer as well...

I lost my communication skill....

Oh my God..

Help me please...

True friends are hard to search as well....

Is it my problem???

Just like when i went attended physical lab on monday, nobody inform me the correct place. I went to the usual place and wait like fool...

Well, is it i have no close friend or my social network not good at all..

This make me down for awhile..

Well, i cheer up as i know i should not unhappy just because of small matter anymore..

laugh off~~~~~

Back

Back from nutristudy..

I did learn a lots from this studied..Even sat in the van more than 9 hrs..

However, I felt i still not perfect enough.. I still not very active in talking, not really automatic do what i should.. I jz cant realise i should do somethg more than my own duty.. What in my mind, i just follow the instruction and not creative to help more..

Thats my weakness.. Just like i dun remember go others friend house should bring some present..

In simple word, i dunno how to 'zuo ren'..This type of characteristic will be very rugi when go to work...

Dunno how to solve at this moment..Try my best...

Nutri study

I have been entered uni for 2 years. For me, i just maintain my simple lifestyle which against my hope 2 be an active person. I wish i can change..

Lastly, i had successfully joined a study. It is a big studies which organise by Dutchlady, Nutrition society of Malaysia..I can be the enumerator of it. My purpose is not to gain money but is experiences. I did happy for joining, cause i thought that you wil fully support me and happy for me. This is the time for me to change and train my social skill, even more deep know about my studied field.

However, sometime thing are out of our thought. I did unhappy when i know the time is crash with the day you wan to come. I try to make it win-win, when i know i go on friday, i was so happy and want let you know.but Your voice, your mood is totally let me down.. You understand me is only my own thought or my own dream..I fail to cheer you up..

I did think of my boyfriend or husband will stop me from my work. I know i dun like that as well.

If it is like that, i rather stay on my own way alone...no matter how hard...

I really cant expect anyone can understand me..Thats the same mistake i made again..

I should start my work, prevent the tears and focus on my work..

Jiayou...

Guy nature

I cant accept someone close with me with intention...

That is quite reality and cruel...

It make everything not sincere..

However, every guy is like that.even some girls as well.

Nature human being i guess....

Never hope for much, i should be glad even just can be friend...

Take care,my friend...

Best for you

I know it is cruel for you.. I felt bad for telling you about this..

To be fair for you, I have to tell you..

I know i hurt you, and you can endure the wound as you are strong..

Do remember n know this is my decision to tell you, so i dun wan be so selfish..

I do feel timing spin me around, and fate chose for me. I cant change..

It is hurt, but it is better for me keep lying to you..

It is hurt, but it is the best for your own good...

Please forgive me..

Love do hurt, I also hate it...

Jiayou...

If i were a piece of white paper

If i can choose again..

I will rather choose no guys love me before, and even i din fall in love before..

It seems bored, but at least you noneed get hurt or hurt people..

I can feel worst if i hurt others, i rather be the one who get hurt...

You noneed choose this or that guy, you noneed to ask yourself who you like or love..

You cant imagine how complicated you will become when you tried to fall in love before.

God, the honour one, maybe your prediction is perfect..but do help me please....

Why the stupid me will head for romance last time..

Cant endure the stupidity and selfishness of mine..

I rather my love life is just a plain white paper...

If time can go back,

I wish i were...

Kick off.. Brush off..

Sad to hear the word die-premature from you. I was thought you are doing fine.. I wonder what is the reason or causes of this die premature. He is a great guy that maybe advance and great in academic, but i think maybe he is just a shy guy..
You are a good girl that i had met. I knew and pass through some of your pass relationship with you.. Even i dunno what and why everytime you broke.. Why such a good girl like you just cant meet good guy.. I think you should get a good guy cause in my mind you are even a better girl than me..
I can see your passion in love, your loyalty and your trust in it.. I was very sad to hear you get hurt in love again. You din told me the details of it, but i m sure you got your reason. I m sorry that i cant console you at my busy time.. I just can pray to God to please him let you feel better..
Even i will felt disappointed about all the guy. I start to feel the guys around me also not good person.
Girls, kick off and brush off the bad guys that surround us..
Hope you hapy always, my dear~~

Theory and Truth

When i was studied about cardiovascular disease's symptoms, causes, impacts and treatment,or even how many people dead because of it. When i was studied about hypertension causes stroke may leads to dead. When i am studied about diabetes...

I was studied a lots of diseases,their impact, their causes, their treatment and control..It is just a theory for me..The things that i need to memorise very well to get good result in my tests.. I had numb and it doesn't sound very strong and serious to me. Perhaps, i am lack of perceived of threat( perceived of suscepbility and seriousness)..

Stroke is never a strong word to me.. Even i remember it,know it will cause this and that.. Guys, when you all see the truth.. That's a really strong a serious word especially when you see it in the medical report of someone that you know. It is a strong word to me when i saw the person i knew for so many years in coma. It is a very sad and serious situation..Wish miracle happen in my auntie..

Due to no prevention and insurance backup, what can do is just waiting the miracle. How many miracles in this world? God may tell me..When you had hypertension, please do take the pills. It is a chronic disease that different from flu and fever. it will leads to stroke and fatal..

Now i realised what we study is veru serious.. I m not sure what i studied and when i graduate can earn a lot od money or not.. At least, i know by what i studied,i can care of myself and those whose around me.. Thats ald a worth study of my life.. Gambatteh.

.Take the challenge and do treat it seriously.

Knowledgeable

To justify a person is knowledgeable or not?It doesn't judge by he studied until what level,either a master or phd..Not judge by how much wealth he own..

A really knowledgeable person can only judge by how he think and how he act and how much book he did read..

What is the difference between a person studied until secondary level and a person who graduate from university..

No much difference..

The difference only exist when u really knowledgeable.

Stop stand on the beginning point anymore and step forward..

take the challenges...

Gotta keep moving....

The process is more important than the result..

Stop it! baka!

You can forget everything, forget every shit.. Dont ever show your stupidity in front of me..

Dun try to hurt me again. The hurt ald leave a deep mark inside my heart. there is a scar that everyone will scared when see it. It affect my life, make me scare to move any forward with full heart...

Stop all this stupid thing...Be mature,baka!!

I will live better ...

thanks you, my friend..

This is my work in my writing class to comment on a poem about friend. The poem's title is A Simple Thank You, My friend.Hope you saw and will like it..if you remember you are the person i meant..haha

This poem shows the gratefulness of the poet to his friend. Friends do play an important role in our life, as they influenced us the most. A good friend will cheer our lives up, bring light to our life and lead us in our journey. I would like to thank one of my friends after being inspired by this poem. She is my secondary classmate, we used to be rivals and finally turned into best friend. When I was in form three, there was an oral speaking test in my class. The test result let me down as I get a low mark. The teacher opened an extra session for those who think they would score better in English class. I would like to have another chance but I am too shy to raise up my hand and ask for it. After the class, my friend knew my mind. She encouraged me to surpass my shyness and accompany me to the teacher’s office. So, I was being tested by the teacher for second time. At last, I ended up with an “A” in my English oral test. If it was not because of her, I probably won’t have another chance. I have to thank her as she brought courage into my life.

Showing off

People will showing off naturally? I show the flower pic not to show off, is just i appreciate the beauty of the art work. You show your sweet pic, what is that called? I would never ask do you miss me lo. You said this time you fall in love, the feeling is totally different. What the heck it related to me? I already told you guy that i m not a good girlfriend. This is rachel lim kay ling how?? Cant is it? Great that you fall in love again..

The different for me is just you know the real meaning of fall in love and how to love people..

You will reply her, chat with her in msn. You will show your love in personal message. Last time even what i wrote and typed in my personal message, you will just close your eyes and see nothing.

Finally you know how to love..

Guys are mature later, i understand...

Good luck...

P/S: bad girlfriend then bad la...:)

Read my senior's blog just now.. It mention that girl just need a guy to sayang them. Thats ald enough and will have the bravery to spend the rest of life. I do spend the hard time with you. Just i lost the sayang...

Fail again-broga hill- no fate-lesson

I determined to go to broga hill for the nice view there. When we reached, there are a lot of problem did happen. We went too early and there is no people. After negotiation and argument, we decided to wait first. Finally there is people who came, we very excited and follow their back quickly. We were lost at first as nobody know the exact road. When we found out the correct way, my sister told us that she totally lost her capability to continue. We were shocked and felt bad indeed. The evil of me try to persuaded her to endure and continue. She persist to stop and went back, as she is breathless. I knew that i were evil enough, i din put myself into her shoe. I just dun wan end with disappointed. However, we did went down with all the disappointed. along the way we went down, many ppl come. They all curious about why do we go back so early. Felt damn shame. Once again, i fail to do one thing again. Such useless..
On the way back home, i did think for a long time. What is the most important thing? Is life or the view? Just like what mention in the last lecturer book, people always go first then matters. Why the stupid of me din understand yet? I fail the broga trip but i did learn a lesson. People always come first, nothing more important than life especially those you love one. Must remember this, evil rachel!!!

Flimsy love

I born in a happy family with parent and siblings. However, love is flimsy in my mind when i was small. I dont really believe someone can love another for so long and loyal. The only one i believe is that between my parent. Time will heal your wound, it also will dilute the love. He can fall in love with others very easy.. If you want to confess, i think action is better than word. You may just hold her hand, or hug her, if she din brush you off, mean you already success. It is better than you to ask as girl may not know how to answer yes. This is a small tips for guys...
Anyhow, I am still who i am.. Happy for you..Wish you have a great valentine day.. Even you and me had never been celebrate it before.. I think valentine day is just a small event that the businessman use to made money, thats why i dint required more on that day. I think myself is very great girl. haha.. Well, now i am not really pay attention to this special day too.. Anyhow,Happy valentine day for everyone..

She and him

Time pass by, more and more confirm she is like him.. By photos and conversation, everyone know that. I should be determined to do what i hope. be happy ya~~~^^

Respect to the true love.

Read an article in newspaper in this morning. Title is " true love, always stay beside you".
This article describes there is a guy who like a girl when they were in their school time. Both of them are from poor family. When they finish their school, they went to big town to work in same company with coincident. After a long time of working together, they also being together.They decided to marry after date for 3 years.
Good thing usually end up soon. When they married nt enough for even 1 month. Problem did happen.. The woman faced health problem with there are blood in her urine. This can be heal by take medicine. However, the dilemma is she was pregnant. She have to stop take medicine if she want her baby, but of course her disease will be worse. They finally chose to have the gift from god.
After her labour, her disease became worst. They need a big amount of money to cure. The wife think want to give up but her husband refuse. They borrow money, eat little, work very hard. The husband even just eat mee and vege even source for the mee also took from restaurant that free. They totally run out of money. She just eat vege for a month, and doctor diagnose she lack of calcium. Thats why he went to bought milk for her but the paid for it is he has to eat mee only for a month.
The baby is with thier mother at hometown cause they have to spend money in town to heal the wife.He knew that the baby is her support and insistent. He purposely put the baby photo in mobile phone to cheer her up. When called back for 2 minutes each time, he chose to talk less and lets his wife talked with their daughter.
When they are interviewed by the reporter, he claimed that he is happy and feel blessedness even in this tough situation.Happy?blessful?unbelieveable feeling in this hard moment. He explained that because he can spend the hard time with the one he loves. This is the true love we should show our respect to.
I think if i in that situation, i will keep moaning, sad and even feel cant endure and persist. Is because i never meet my true love, or i just will take and not give? or i m selfish?not able to sacrifice? I wonder.. I cant be so great as them, so i respect~~

Lousy, bad, emo..

I knew that i am weak in english and my work is not organise, but do u need to critic like this..
I unable to write well in an hour..i knew this is my problem..I will change instead of being look down...
You feel irritating about the one you like is your matter, it does related to me at all.
Don't ever take me as your punching bag. Cause i m not..
You always complain this and that, tell us this and that, but we never refuse to listen or feel you are irritating.. what the heck is this..
I noneed you to correct my essay for me, you feel you are lucky.. I feel ths same way as well..
I hate attitude like that. it does hurt me..i hate i not strong enough, i hate i very care..
Do i need my heart and i to be numbness, only i can survive well..EQ, please do come find me and fill me up.. Wish i can stop my emotional soon. I cant let all this small matter or small people to affect my study..What i can do is to be alone and stay a distance..

P/S: Forgive me for being rude here...

climbing..

Many problems come in to me..
My handphone keypad spoilt half way. How i going to type message without g,h,i and m,n,o.?
After that, distraction was around me for the whole sunday..
When i determint and tried to find back my way, shoulder making some noise. My head cant move and turn fast and as i wish..Like a old woman..
Maybe it does complained that my long period of sedentary study life or my weak body does ring the alarm?
Damn worry...
Forget to brng the lecture note to class, and drove the emotional and sensitive lecturer crazy..
I am not purposely left my notes at home.Just i m too blur.. Monday blue do come.. My mood was ok just my body is the opposite.
Finally found that period came in the inappropriate time. Luckily still can handle..
Obstacles did happen to test and bother me..
I should be strong to climb...

How to believe?

Shift your choice and opinion just after a day.
Said this and that..
How can i believe in you?

You are so unsure..
Even you may dunno what you want and said..

Lost

I become very weak~~
I very depend on others~~
I not capable to fullfill even just a little work~~
Get mad of because of little matter~~
I upset very easily~~
Emotional very easily~~
Angry very easily~~
I can't endure myself to be like that~~
I know i am very bad to the one who concern me~~
I hate myself, hate my weakness, hate my uselessness, hate evrything about myself..
If you want run away from me for ur best, please take your step~~
I wont stop you or blame anyone of you~~


Thinking of what make me change? because of i had leave my lovely GOD and full of sin~
I am sorry~~
I dont want back to that evil lim kay ling~~
However, i m lost in this moment~~
The frighten of lost is too much, i already cant endure and wan die of that~~

Clever~

Run away from girl that emotional~~
Stay away from girl that not independent~~
Hold on with girl that very weak~~
Leave her who is very irritating~~
Go away from her who very treat you bad~~
If you are clever, please do all this..

Smart guy

Recently found out that many people think that my cup of tea will be someone who look smart.
They do think i had a high requirement..
Well, my outlook really make many people think like that?haha
Maybe my requirement is high, but they should consider that i m not that pretty and perfect as well..
High requirement must give those who had good qualification..haha
You all are overrate me..haha..

Whine...

Unfair draw, More burden, do others work...
All these words that keep in my mind made me crazy and feel hard...
I tried to pursuit myself that do more will learn more.. However, it still cant stop me from whine.
As Dr nasir said, girls always whine. I m one of them..
After whine and moaning, I found that i better start work instead of just whine..
Thanks GOD for let me learn more especially be patient..
I m someone who have nothing in one, but YOU does help me to learn...
Thanks...

Give up

Should i just give up??

Blur~~

Medicine make me blur and feel whole body uncomfortable~~~

Tiring sem

There are strict lecturer, important courses that exist in this sem. All of us exhausted due to many reports and assignments. Our life like nonstop of working. First time feel so busy. Other than homework, communication problem among us also occurs. Work in a team sure have different opinions and suggestion. I think this can solve by discussion and understand.. Well, thing always out of our predict.
Some type of people cant work together with certain type of people? Izzit true? I not so sure. There are relationship among us that become worst and some maybe the opposite when many works come across. I not really know how to handle, and i also not very very care. anyway, it is stil a bad thing for thing become like this.
I wan start to do more preparation of study, doing well in my work, understand all the work that i did, and know clearly of every single word that i typed. When i start do some preparation, i m lost. I dunno where and how to start. Thats make me feel damn bad and i dont know how to come across.
Family matter do bothering me as well. I dont know what is happen when i not at home. I just know there are lack of money. I wonder how my parent, sisters and brother s' feeling. I am sure i will be sad if they feel bad. Thats why i chose just to believe and gave. I know they are far more important than money. I seen to be a money-grubber and love money. Actually, family are always the first for me. I knew this very clear.
Assignments like cant finish, keep change this and that. I wonder why we change just due to someone said how we should do. Maybe because we din step out and ask the person in charge or maybe we very concentrate in class and know everything already. Keep doing and changing make life dull. Many works and problems in mind make mood and life worst...
Weekend please come to rescue me.........