Who can teach me what to do?

I always dont know the decision that i made is correct or not? I m very confusing now...Why everytime i saw your message,my tears will come out? Do you know i really feel very bad sometime..Why i always have to pass through moment like this? I know you may face problems,feel stressfull right now...Why i should be the one who suffer while you still can stay happy by yourself when you are stressfull? I really dont understand...How can you stay happy and make the people around you suffer.your answer is u dont know as well..Then,i suggest you to change this bad behaviour..you just said wait and see how first..My life is going hard to make decision..When you know there are someone who chasing me, you already think to give up..M i so unimportant to you? I keep on asked myself this question for uncountable time...When i told you that why you want hurt me like that? You just reply that dont only think myself is hurt,cause you are feeling hurt as well..Did you mean i selfish? Maybe i should admit that i am...You know you nt clever in 'pujuk' me,but why you just will said sorry and din change even you clear about what is your problem? My heart is very painfull is this moment...What can i do?Who can teach me? Why there are nobody can understand me ? Maybe i m the one who already predeterminate wont get blessedness and hapiness...Cause i really not a good girl.....Maybe i should be stay single...To punish myself? Scare of sadness? Dont want any guy be the next victim of mine? I dont know......Can I just disappear in this world for a short moment by not contact with anyone???? haha..... I really dont know what m i typing now, this is the first time i type with a wet face...

Eating ABC

Today is a very hot day...At night,we my sibling n me)decide go to eat ABC to release some heat of our body..haha..ABC is stand for Air Batu Campur in malaysia...It is a dessert.haha..When I enjoyed my ABC in one of the famous shop in my hometown-Mantin,I met some of my secondary school friends..Few years din meet d..I want pretend i din see them..At last,one of my friends miss call me...As a sporty girl,i must go there to chat awhile with them..haha..When i approach them,i realise that they nt really looking at me...i also dont know why they will be like that?M i weird to them? As i already there,i tried my best to think some of the topic to ask them...Most of them are already working or study in college..Then i asked one girl where she working now,she answer me that she works as contractor...i know she is joking but i dont feel to laugh at that moment...After awhile,i have to go d and say bye to them..Suddenly feel that our distance become so so so so far...I remember i was very close with the girl last time....TIME really is a relationship KILLER............

Quiet morning..

Yesterday was scolded by my mom...never talk to her till today morning...When i woke up,she was preparing some food in the kitchen..We both just keep quiet all the time...The feeling was so strange...Finally,i start to break the ice and went to kitchen to ask her something....She just answer me in a simple way...dont know whether she is still angry me or not...haiz....Hope everything gonna be fine after this...

Feeling Of Hungry

From yesterday still now,i already more than 18 hrs din eat anything..Am i hungry?Why i din eat? I also dont know....I may know that i m hungry but this hungry feeling not enough for me to take action go for food and rise my apetite..Or there is something wrong with my hormone receptor and hypothalamus??Therefore,my brain fail to send the signal to tell me the hunger...haha....From this,i found i got the potential to join the charity programme which need to be stay hungry for 30 hrs...haha....

Dark journey

I was drove alone went to seremban just now..The road was so dark and less of cars...I think a lots in my journey back home...I got the frighten feeling when i look at the dark and quiet condition around me..Izzit our life journey same with the dark road that in front of me? If it is,then i find it very hard to continue my journey on my own..I felt so lonely and dependless with that...I know it is hard and i hv to face it...What m i can do? Can it be brighter?i hope.......

28th of May

Today,i went for celebrated my housemate's birthday in kl..It very happy and special trip because i din sing k with those guy in my course...Around 5pm,i back home d...When i reach batang benar ktm station,i knew that my brother is coming to fetch me home...i felt nt comfortable when knew is my bro driving...I reached at batang benar d,but i din see any familiar car...I knew there may something bad happen...Finally,i saw my dad n my bro came d...I dunno what happen jz now...From their conversation in car,i knew that my brother was knocked a dog..Sorry to my brother that,because of me,his first accident happen.....
Another thing,i get a job that work in nilai this weekend..I reject it d since i have to go PD with my friend...Today,that company accidently send the work sample to my house..Therefore,i have to return the sample to my friend which i recommend him to replace me working...When my mom get to know this incident,she was so angry and scold me why i dint go work since i already promise others d..."Why u so nt responsible?" ...I dont know my choice correct or not?Why i must work?What mean by responsibility?I really dont know d...I start to feel that i really nt responsibility and i am useless too...What going to happen to a person which is useless in her future?Sure she nt going to be a successfull person...I really nt dare to think about it d...Can i just dont want everyone to care for me...let me alone and suffer..maybe i will be better..Din eat dinner tonight?Angry my mom?Punishment for myself?Answer --->Dont know...

Movie

Many of my friends asked me out for a movie recently..I reject all of them..I don't know why i did that too...Maybe there is not the right time,not the right place,not the right people and not the right mood for me to go for a movie...Who know??? : )