Who can teach me what to do?

I always dont know the decision that i made is correct or not? I m very confusing now...Why everytime i saw your message,my tears will come out? Do you know i really feel very bad sometime..Why i always have to pass through moment like this? I know you may face problems,feel stressfull right now...Why i should be the one who suffer while you still can stay happy by yourself when you are stressfull? I really dont understand...How can you stay happy and make the people around you suffer.your answer is u dont know as well..Then,i suggest you to change this bad behaviour..you just said wait and see how first..My life is going hard to make decision..When you know there are someone who chasing me, you already think to give up..M i so unimportant to you? I keep on asked myself this question for uncountable time...When i told you that why you want hurt me like that? You just reply that dont only think myself is hurt,cause you are feeling hurt as well..Did you mean i selfish? Maybe i should admit that i am...You know you nt clever in 'pujuk' me,but why you just will said sorry and din change even you clear about what is your problem? My heart is very painfull is this moment...What can i do?Who can teach me? Why there are nobody can understand me ? Maybe i m the one who already predeterminate wont get blessedness and hapiness...Cause i really not a good girl.....Maybe i should be stay single...To punish myself? Scare of sadness? Dont want any guy be the next victim of mine? I dont know......Can I just disappear in this world for a short moment by not contact with anyone???? haha..... I really dont know what m i typing now, this is the first time i type with a wet face...