Suitable and lonely

I had been passing my days at home very unproductively..I didn't study at all, just will stay together with my tv. haha..

I saw my friends' photos. They went to many places, clubbing and some event with alcoholic for sure.. Once in a while, i will hope i just can be like them.. I want to wear very pretty, go to that type of places.. I dreamed to pass through a very 'city' and materialistic life. However, i never do due to lack of money..haha..

Now when i still will be jealous as well. But, i will ask myself, m i suitable for that type of life? Do i have the gut and money to pass through that?

Even if i am able to do that, after a party, after being pretty and even after getting the prettiest clothe and most expensive handbag..

Will i go back to loneliness after all? Thats a good question i think to all the girls....

Proposal presentation

Today we went to our seniors' proposal presentation session. Try and Imagine you have to talk by yourself with 3 lecturer sitting there and judging u. The room was cold, the air was freezing.. Somewhat tension moment. Even though i was just a listener, i also felt nervous.. Lousy me..haha..

Start worrying for my time. Well, worry just for awhile..then i will be ok.

JUST LET TOMORROW WORRIES, WORRY BY ONLY TOMORROW..

TODAY enjoy!!haha..

type A

I knew i am a type A person. I just don't want to admit as i know thats not any compliment. Somebody said i was crazy in study..Well, m i? I dont think so.. I always just can't fight with my laziness.. I knew i was stressed and frustrated when i felt thats less time and the things were out of my finger tips. To clarify, in my finger tips does not mean i can memories every single word. as long as there is something in my head, i will feel better and not frustrated. I m trying to set my type A personality, i thought i was better compared to last time. In addition, i will work harder. Anyhow, not because type A but punctuality is my way..

I really dislike people who simply reply my msg. I knew i was in bad mood when i was replying the msg. Well, by using pls which was referred to as strong word to request someone do somethg but other will think that i was very fierce. I cant change how others' perception of me. Well, i tried not to bother as well.

Nevertheless, i am still influenced by what others thought about me.. Yet, i failed again..It did let me down.. It was just hard for me to not be influenced by others. I have to jiayou d la.. I knew there will be a lot of same situation waiting for me in future. I should be used to it.

Really hope to talk to someone when i was down in hostel..Sad that there is no one for me to talk to. Last time maybe can talk to him.. have been thking talk to another guy. Well, it seems not so good, n i dun hope anythg happen as before again. Nobody would like to help me as well.

I knew i should go to GOD.. He is the best..

Bless me..thanks..

Stressful test

Just relieved myself from test 2,but there is one test left..

Four tests in a week really messed people up. Whenever I felt there is limited time with thousand load of work, i will feel dizzy.

This is the first time i let stress totally immerse myself. Stress worked on me and let my immune system down. Concentration is difficult when you were sick, this slowed my study progress.

Many of my housemates did give me a lot of medicines. I drank herb tea, vitamin C, and panadol. Many ways I used to combat the sickness.

For sure, I will hope there is someone who can take care of me. However, i knew i have to face it on my own. I will be alright even though my boyfriend is not here. haha..

Holiday end

Holiday come to the epilogue.. Refresh back what had i did. Spent my first five days in Singapore. No much visit famous tourism places. I understand the main purpose of the trip was not travel but visit grandma. I had no any complain at all. Just because i am love to stay at home.

As usual my diet is just like others even though i am wearing the braces. I think i am the minority group of those with brace and enjoy my meals. However, my nightmare started together with the Hari Raya. I found the end edge of my lower brace drop out. The second day, both edge had the same situation. It is ok if this circumstance didnt affect me. However, it did made me suffer because the end of the wire drop off and it can moved freely inside my mouth and it just stabbed in my cells. It can be describe like has a needle inside your mouth and stabbed you all the time especially when u talk and chew. The worse was the dentistry was closed because of hari raya public holiday. Then i suffered for three days. Luckily, the clever one did suggested put chewing gum to encircle the needle and relieved some of my painful. I didn't complained much as i can endure painful well. Furthermore, i deserved it when i did my decision. After that, dentist did settled the braces for me.

This was not the first time i went back to dentist for fit back my brace. Nevertheless, this was the only time which cause painful. I was informed by avoid hard food even no painful, and chew food slowly. I nodded my head. The story never end in this point as the unexpected side effect had came. I found my cells inside had truly hurt by the wire and it caused ulcerssssss with not smooth and inflamed cells. The infected region is huge.. Now i had to deal with this.. What to do..haiz

From now on, i have to try my best to suppress my appetite especially for the hard food. have to admit that i am different from others and yet never regret o...hehe..Goodbye to my lovely holiday and welcome to my suffer exam period..

Wonder

Thought i am mature. Sometime it was just fail. I just can angry easily especially towards him.

I knew i am treating him badly. I do not know why, and sometime i just cant control. I also realise i am wrong.. Where is my gender and tender go??

I already very clear that love is more than just holding hand, go dating and sharing.. Sometime it is difficult for two persons to communicate and live together. Many problems will pop out.. I become so so lazy... Just depend others do works for me? More dependent?

Or i m just not ready to be in love?

I know what i mean is already over the puppy love..

Just I have to deal with it..

The problem when you grow up and in love???

Wondering.......

Guys???

I understand i have no right to said anything...

It is just too fast...

Just don't like being cheated...

Anything that nice to hear from guy are not trusty..

The 1st one is like this..

He also like this..

I wonder you will like this or not?

I m somewhat immune d...Maybe immune till make others feel i am bad and cool blood..

Conclusion: Guys cant be trusted.

Rachel has to be tough ya.. I can depends on myself only...